What Couples Actually Value Now
Inside the changing reality of weddings in Ireland. From expectations and budgets to emotion, experience and the pressure of perfection.
For years, weddings followed a familiar formula. The traditional ceremony. The packed ballroom. The carefully staged photographs. The pressure to create something “perfect.” But across Ireland, that picture is changing. Today’s couples are planning weddings differently. Balancing rising costs, social media expectations, guest experience and personal identity, while increasingly trying to create days that feel less performative and more meaningful. At the same time, regional destinations are experiencing renewed momentum, with couples placing greater value on atmosphere, hospitality, flexibility and connection over simply choosing the biggest venue or closest city.
In this edition of The View, we speak with lynn coffey of Hillgrove Hotel & Spa and award-winning photographer Karen Clerkin Mooney about what couples truly care about now and how weddings across Ireland are evolving in ways many people still underestimate.
A New Generation Of Weddings
“Couples are no longer planning weddings for other people, they’re planning them for themselves.”
Q: Lynn, now that you have recently moved from the Springfield Hotel in Dublin to Hillgrove Hotel & Spa, what attracted you to this opportunity, and what are you most excited to step into?
Lynn Coffey: The opportunity to join Hillgrove Hotel & Spa was incredibly exciting because it offered the chance to work with a venue that already has such a strong reputation for weddings while also bringing a fresh perspective from the Dublin market.
What really attracted me was the warmth of the property, the scale of the wedding offering, and the opportunity to become part of a team that genuinely values the guest experience. I’m always looking for opportunities to learn more about the hotelier business from different perspectives and properties, and I believe it’s important to continually push myself that little bit further both personally and professionally. Moving into a new environment like Hillgrove was a natural next step in that journey. I’m especially excited to build relationships with couples in the region and help create weddings that feel personal, relaxed, and memorable from start to finish.
Q: You were deeply immersed in the Dublin wedding market before your move. From your perspective, what are the biggest differences you are seeing in a regional setting like Monaghan?
Lynn Coffey: One of the biggest differences is the sense of community and connection. In regional venues, weddings often feel even more family-centred, with strong local ties and generations attending celebrations together. In Dublin, couples can sometimes prioritise trend-led experiences or city convenience, whereas in a regional setting there is often more emphasis on hospitality, atmosphere, and making the entire weekend special for guests travelling to attend. That said, couples everywhere still want a wedding that feels authentic to them.
The “Pressure” Of Perfection
Social media has transformed the wedding industry in ways few could have predicted. Couples now consume endless inspiration online but with that inspiration often comes expectation, comparison and pressure.
“Guests remember how a wedding felt more than every detail.”
Q: Weddings are often described as one of the most important days in a couple’s life, but they can also be overwhelming. Where do you see couples feeling the most pressure right now? 
Lynn Coffey: The biggest pressure point is often balancing expectations, whether that’s budget expectations, family opinions, or the pressure created through social media. Couples can sometimes feel they need to deliver a “perfect” wedding experience. The reality is that guests remember how a wedding felt more than every detail. Having a trusted venue and suppliers who guide couples through the process makes a huge difference in reducing that pressure. I always ask my couples what they would love to have on the day of their wedding and what they would like to remember most from it afterwards. Once I understand what truly matters to them, I do everything I can to deliver that experience to the best of my ability. I think that personal connection and understanding is what helps couples feel more relaxed and able to genuinely enjoy the day.
Q: Karen, you’ve been photographing weddings for over 15 years across Ireland. What changes have you noticed most in how couples approach their wedding day now?
Karen Clerkin Mooney: I would say the main differences fall into two categories.
One is that couples now are very much planning their own day, whereas when I started 16 years ago parents played a much bigger role in the decision making, mainly because they often carried more of the financial responsibility.
The other major shift has been ceremonies. When I first started photographing weddings in 2010, almost all of them were traditional wedding masses. Now civil and humanist ceremonies are much more common — and often much more personal in how they reflect the couple themselves.
What Couples Actually Care About Now
“Personalisation today is less about extravagance and more about meaning.” 
Lynn Coffey: Couples care most about the overall experience not just for themselves, but for their guests. They want the day to feel seamless, enjoyable, and reflective of who they are as a couple. Value for money is also hugely important, but value doesn’t always mean the cheapest option. Couples are looking for venues and suppliers who deliver quality, reassurance, communication, and a stress-free planning process.
Q: There is a lot of conversation around “personalisation.” In reality, what does that actually look like in how couples plan their day?
Lynn Coffey: Personalisation today is less about extravagant additions and more about meaningful details. Couples are choosing menus that reflect their personalities, incorporating family traditions, creating more relaxed timelines, or focusing on entertainment that suits their guests. It’s really about moving away from a “one-size-fits-all” wedding and making decisions that genuinely represent the couple rather than following expectations.
Q: From your experience, what are couples getting right at the moment and what are they overthinking?
Karen Clerkin Mooney: I think whether a couple overthinks aspects of their wedding is often a personality thing. But after 16 years covering weddings, I can honestly say I’ve never seen anything happen that stopped a wedding day from being perfect. The fact that you are sealing your love in front of your nearest and dearest will always make it a perfect day. I think couples get it right when they stay true to themselves, their personalities and their budgets rather than trying to please everyone else.
The Moments People Remember
One of the strongest themes emerging throughout this conversation is that weddings are becoming less staged and more emotional. Couples increasingly want days that feel lived-in, relaxed and real and photographers are seeing that shift first-hand.
“The couple remember seeing each other for the first time. My job is capturing everyone else seeing them.” 
Q: On the day itself, couples often focus on the big moments but what are the quieter moments that end up meaning the most when they look back?
Karen Clerkin Mooney: It has to be the first looks. People assume that means the bride and groom seeing each other, but there is an entire room full of people having their own first look grandparents, parents, best friends, siblings. The couple are so focused on each other that they often miss all those other emotional reactions. My job is to capture those moments for them to look back on afterwards.
Q: You’ve worked at Hillgrove Hotel & Spa. How does the venue lend itself to capturing natural, meaningful moments throughout the day?
Karen Clerkin Mooney: What works so well is the flow of the venue. The ceremony space, drinks reception, ballroom and gardens are all close together, which means couples spend less time away from their guests and more time immersed in the atmosphere of the day itself. That natural flow really helps preserve the energy and emotion of the wedding without constantly interrupting it.
The Future Of Weddings
Q: Are you seeing a shift away from traditional wedding formats, or are couples still holding onto those core elements? 
Lynn Coffey: I think couples are finding a balance. Many still value the traditional elements, the ceremony, speeches, first dance and bringing family together because those moments are timeless. But they are becoming more flexible around how the day flows. We’re seeing later ceremonies, more informal dining styles, extended celebrations, and couples placing more focus on creating an atmosphere that feels relaxed and enjoyable rather than overly formal.
Q: If you could give one piece of advice to couples planning their wedding right now, what would it be?
Karen Clerkin Mooney: Enjoy it all. Be conscious of budget, absolutely but don’t lose sight of the fact that you are entering a new chapter together. Some people love the planning stage and others find it stressful, but ultimately the weddings people remember most are the ones where the couple were genuinely happy, relaxed and fully present in the day itself.
Final Thought
What emerges most clearly from this conversation is that modern weddings are becoming less about performance and more about presence. Couples are moving away from rigid expectations and increasingly prioritising atmosphere, emotion, connection and authenticity not just for themselves, but for the people sharing the experience with them. For venues like Hillgrove Hotel & Spa, that shift creates an opportunity to offer something increasingly valuable: a wedding experience that feels personal, relaxed and genuinely memorable. And for suppliers like Karen Clerkin Mooney, it reinforces a growing truth across the industry the moments people treasure most are rarely the perfectly staged ones. They’re the real ones. 
At Hillgrove Hotel & Spa, that experience is shaped by the people behind it. From the first enquiry to the final dance. With Lynn Coffey now leading weddings at the property, couples have a dedicated point of contact who understands both the detail and emotion involved in planning such an important day. For couples beginning their wedding journey, Hillgrove offers the scale, warmth and experience to create a celebration that feels personal, relaxed and memorable. Couples interested in exploring wedding dates, packages or arranging a private showaround are encouraged to connect directly with Lynn Coffey and the weddings team at Hillgrove Hotel & Spa.
A special thank you also to Karen Clerkin Mooney of Essence Photography for bringing such an honest and human perspective to this edition. For couples looking for natural, documentary-led wedding photography across Ireland, Essence Photography offers a beautifully relaxed approach focused on real moments, genuine emotion and timeless memories.